What People Are Saying

It seems that people are becoming more and more reluctant to leave reviews of a book they have read on Amazon. In my case this may be due to the fact that most of the purchases of “A Hell for Heroes” have been made in high street book shops. However, the feedback I’m receiving here on the blog has been fantastic so I thought I would share them here with interested visitors.

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Hello Theo,

I have just finished your superb book. Just a great read, and the poetry too. Looking forward to more!

Cheers,

Alastair

Hi Theo

I bought your book in Dublin airport and was not able to put it down. Was a cracking read and loved reading about your experiences in Belfast as that’s where I’m from. I am an ex Cpl crap hat lol and my only regret is I never tried p company and I often wonder if I would have passed it. I know some people who suffer from PTSD but never realised how serious it can be and how much it affects your daily life. Your book was a real eye opener and I hope it helps people in a similar situation. I hope you and your family are well. Keep up the good work.
Ian

Dear Theo

I have read your book and simply wish to thank you for allowing us to share the journey you have followed. I can only imagine how hard it must have been to cast your mind back and recall some of those dark moments.

It is easy for non military types like me to become enthralled at the mystique of the military, particularly the Special Forces, and be completely ignorant of the challenges you face both in the field and after completing your various missions and into civilian life.

There are so many novels and shows portraying the glory of our Special Forces; this is the first I have read that describes the bravery and support you provide to both military and civilians… you really do give a real real life perspective.

Again, many thanks for sharing your story; deep respect to you and Mrs Knell and family and good luck onward.

James

I bought your book at A book shop in London Heathrow prior to returning to my home in the United States. I couldn’t put it down.Having two son- in-laws who served in the U.S. Marine Corp and saw action in Iraq I feel that maybe I understand a little better the effects of PTSD. A great read! Best of luck to you in the future and look forward to your next book.

Theodore
Your book was fantastic but your story is amazing. I don’t ever make comments or other when I read a book, I just put it on the shelf, but I wanted to see who the person was and point out to them that they have a duty to write more.
Thanks

Dear Theo,
I bought ‘A Hell for Heroes’ the other day whilst at work. I have read a number of books by former (the word ‘ex’ does not do justice to those men and women who serve their country) soldiers and can honestly say that yours is the best so far.

It was unputdownable. So, I finished it within a day and a half. Your use of poetry made the images stand out more and definitely gave added value to the book.

I have never served, but appreciate and respect everyone who has and does. And, I’m glad that the Armed Forces are receiving more and more public appreciation than they have had, due largely in part to books such as yours.

So, I offer a salute from a L/Cpl (in the Army Cadets at school) as a thank you for a truly magnificent book. I look forward to any others that you have in the pipeline.

All the very best,
Kurt.

As an ex fireman (31 years service retired 7 years ago) I thought the dreams were weakness coming to the surface. I also felt frustrated that despite being in charge at incidents, since leaving I can only get work on minimum wage.

Reading your book has helped me get things in perspective.

Best regards.

read your book while away on holiday, my husband bought the book for himself but I got to it first, I am so glad that I did as I could not put the book down once I had started and loved the poetry, it really did put a different angle on it and made you think long and hard.

Just read A Hell for Heroes. I have to say not many books I’ve read have made me think so deeply and consider how my time in the forces affected my life after I left. I’m also shocked how poetry, something I’ve never liked can instantly tell a story and fill your head with images and emotions. When I picked this book up and read the back I nearly put it down because of the poetry. I’m so glad I didn’t . Fantastic book thanks.

Hi Theo,

I have never read a book before and I am 31, I went on holiday last week and thought I would pick something up to read round the pool and I chose this. I got into it so much that I couldn’t put it down. I live in Aldershot and played football for the Pegasus. I have a lot of friend in the army, I was going to join the army myself but never did. I have so much respect for everyone who is and has served our country. I think you are a really interesting man and would love to read more of your books. I would love to see your story made into a film as well.

Cant wait for more of your books.

Take care

Dave

Hello there,
I’m an Aussie and I’m currently in Northern Ireland in Enniskellen and around there in what you would remember as bandit country. I can still feel the ghosts of that long conflict here in this otherwise beautiful landscape. Just finished the chapters set here and it’s a very evocative read which opens a window onto this secretive landscape. I genuinely admire your courage and the courage of your mates in the British Army who operated here and in other places round the world in defence of our rights and freedoms. I know for a fact that ADF personnel always feel a bit more comfortable when we’re side to side with Tommies. Its that combination of civility, courage and attention to detail in operations that calm the nerves. And here here for the call out to ex-service people ad their welfare – spot on. Cracking read.
All the best,
Peter H.

Hello there,
I’m an Aussie and I’m currently in Northern Ireland in Enniskellen and around there in what you would remember as bandit country. I can still feel the ghosts of that long conflict here in this otherwise beautiful landscape. Just finished the chapters set here and it’s a very evocative read which opens a window onto this secretive landscape. I genuinely admire your courage and the courage of your mates in the British Army who operated here and in other places round the world in defence of our rights and freedoms. I know for a fact that ADF personnel always feel a bit more comfortable when we’re side to side with Tommies. Its that combination of civility, courage and attention to detail in operations that calm the nerves. And here here for the call out to ex-service people ad their welfare – spot on. Cracking read.
All the best,
Peter H.

I’ve just finished reading your book, “A Hell For Heroes”. What a tremendous read and more importantly, insight into the world of a professional soldier before, during and post career. All too often we get caught up in the excitement and glamour of sensationalised war events. Your frank and to the point telling of how it was like during your career and the problems faced with having to integrate back into civilian life have had a very sobering impact on what my ill-conceived perceptions of what the modern soldier is all about. As a civilian, I can only thank you for sharing the life experiences of both yourself and your comrades both living and fallen. Take care and live long mate. Kindest of regards, Pete

Hi Theo,
I bought your book in Oz while on a trip there and found it a really compelling read. I didn’t serve in the forces but always quick to help donate to good causes like Help for Hero’s and although live overseas always find a poppy to wear to pay my respects. Thanks for a really good book and wish you all the best for your latest career. Ray

HI Theo,

I bought your book yesterday with the intention of reading it in recovery from my 6th lower back surgery within a year. After a great read , it has given some needed perspective as I’m sure it has done for many readers !

Thank you for sharing your experiences with us all.

Regards,

Aaron

Just finished reading your book and I was entertained, enlightened and blessed by it. I think it’s a must read for everyone, not just soldiers. Really loved your book.

Please write another book. I think you’d be an excellent fiction writer. I support all ex-UKSF authors as they know what they’re talking about.

Theo, your book is outstanding. Thoroughly enjoyed your style of writing, making your personal experience, ours as well. Hope your writing another. The Aussie book shops could do with more of this calibre. (<–no pun intended).
Cheers.

Dear Theo, I have been reading books on military history and books by soldiers who have experienced and survived battle for the last 30 years. They have all been very good and written by brave men like yourself.

I read your book for two days non stop and thought it was absolutly excellent and one of the best, I plan to read it again in the future. God bless you.

Lucky me, found “A Hell for Heroes” by chance (right) in an Amazon search. God bless you, boss, for writing for and to those who have given so much and received so little. Your truthful prose informative, entertaining, sobering; your truthful poems searingly, brutally, look-within raw. Be nice to think that the ideals of service and excellence you embody were matched by the vertù of your political masters. Hmm…

Hello Theo,
I have just finished reading your book which touched me personally.
I am not or ever have been a soldier, but suffered a cerebral Abcess which nearly killed me at the age of 14. I was left initially totally blind in a ward of screaming people and had to grow up fast.

To cut a long story short, I spent many years angry and have also lived on the streets. At the age of 35 the demons returned and It has taken some 8 years to find some peace.

Funnily enough, my Dad is ex SOE and also has PTSD, what a fun family we have.
All the best
Andy

Hi,
I just finished reading your book, and felt I had to comment on what a riveting read it was. I’m a big fan of military history, and love reading single person accounts of their experiences and how military life affects the average soldier. Your book filled in a lot of blanks for me, and at times had me close to tears, trying to understand a soldier’s loneliness in times of extreme hardship. Thanks for putting your words on paper; it’ll be a favourite of mine for years to come.
Regards,
Brian.

Dear Theo
I am a final year University student, and am planning on joining the Army after graduation. I am currently in the process of writing a dissertation on the importance of talking about the experiences of war and PTSD, particularly looking at war poetry. I would love to include some of your work, and was wondering if possible whether I could ask you some questions via email about your experiences.
Many Thanks, Emily Leyshon

I laughed and cried – what an informative book! Delightful read.

Just finished Hell is for Heroes. A good read I must say. I just want to say Theo is very lucky. With the kind of Childhood he has had [which reminds me of my own] He could have easily ended up a criminal. When a kid goes through what Theo did then you tend to grow up with very little emotional intelligence, so it’s hard to fit in the world. Probably lucky he had the Army. By the way Joe Napolitano the actor from the Matrix just brought out a book about depression definitely worth a look.
Chris
Dublin

Hi Theo, just finished your book and enjoyed it very much. I am an ex Solider myself, I served 22 years in the Irish Defence Forces. For me the book was a soldier’s story, not like anything I read before. I could identify with a lot of your stories, the start about growing up with fighting and trying to survive in a crazy world was a little upsetting as it brought back some old memories to myself. I really enjoyed your poetry; I write some myself and also find it’s a great way of telling your story, your way.
Thanks again for a great read
Mick

Hi Theo (boss)

I have just finished your fantastic book. I too served for over ten years in the Australian Defence force. Thankfully I was not exposed to the same horrors as you were the feelings of loss and despair you felt after leaving the Army were almost the same as mine. I was not prepared for what it actually meant to “get out”.
I was given a four hour session on how to transition, then nothing, the support and structure which I had for so many years was gone. I didn’t realise it at the time but 100% of my friends and support group were military.
I have been out for 12 years now and still struggle with these feelings from time to time.
While the Defence Force did allow me to gain education and a career after the military, nothing prepared me for leaving.
There are only two groups of people I know of that use the term “get out or getting out” referring to leaving something, criminals in prison and servicemen.
Thanks again for you book sometimes raw but that is what’s needed.
Cheers
Steve.

G’Day Theo.

Just to start, I have never been a ‘reader’ of sorts. I bluffed my way through high school English as I never had the patience to pick up a book. It just seemed so much time and effort for an interruption in my social life. However, I am still only 27 years old although have had a big ten years since then. I am now a serving full time member of the Australian Regular Army and have a family of my own. You know us young fella’s though, all too interested in the action of what’s going on. Afghan, Iraq, and all the rest. I seen a book released titled “No Easy Day”. You probably know the book. I had to have it. But, as my partner and I were browsing the local bookstore, we came across your book, “A Hell for Hero’s”. I read the cover notes and took a liking to it instantly (which is very strange for me). It was one of the three books I ended up buying that day. This next thing I say should be a huge credit. I read your book first. It was the first book I have read completely my whole life (and don’t know how I will read the others now as they may just let me down). It took me only 4 days. The book was a real eye opener to the harsh realities that all too many people choose to ignore. A real insight into the ‘invisible’ devastation that is caused by such a life that so many people choose to live. I truly enjoyed your writing and it has also given me more to think about regarding my future military career. There is a lack of information regarding SF service as all we can really do is apply and live life as it comes. So many join for the action packed lifestyle, although, failing to see what can really happen behind the scenes. To your mates, your family and inside your mind. I will put together a review for your book from a consumer’s point of view as it definitely deserves my time.
Theo, Thank you…..

Just finished the book – A bit too close to home in some cases – I left home at 15 yrs of age for reasons I won’t go into and went into the Merchant Navy – stayed there until I was conscripted at age 20 – Stayed in the green machine for 23 yrs – started off in a “normal Infantry Battalion”, then Airborne – then Commandos – eventually retired against my better judgement owing to all the injuries I picked up along the way – had some problems with alcohol and pain killers – now doing ok and working as a Public Servant – I wish I could have read the book years ago, it may have provided a SITREP of things to come. Bloody well done Theo.
STRIKE SWIFTLY
Cheers: Col

Dear Theo I too heard the programme and your reading which was incredibly moving. I belong to an organisation called Lapidus (which promotes health and well being through writing). http://www.lapidus.org.uk and to this end I organise an event at Hay on Wye Literary Festival each year and this year we are hoping to have an event on writing through trauma and the benefits that can accrue. The poet Owen Sheers has created a play with wounded veterans at Headley Court (The Two Worlds of Charlie F) and it eventually went to the West End. He might be involved in such an event if we can get together a small group of 3 people who are happy to talk about their experiences. I wonder if you would be interested in appearing as part of this panel – no fees but book signing/sales and a slot at one of the world’s top literary events. You may of course already be appearing via your publisher at other such things but if not let me know. Give me ring or email me and we can talk further. I too write poetry about trauma and work with others who use writing in this area as a means of recovering and reclaiming oneself. It would be great to talk some about this if you have the time. Sylvia Perry

Hello Theo,
I listened to you on Libby Purvis’ ‘Midweek’ and was deeply moved by the poem that you read. It was a truly very powerful poem that took me to the heart of the pain (and strategies to try and avoid of that pain) that was in the room after you lost one of your friends and colleagues.
As well as being a psychotherapist I am also the Poetry editor for ‘The Attachment Journal’ a journal published by Karnac Books in London. It is a book that has articles written by psychotherapists and in general is read by psychotherapists and counsellors working in the field. It has a circulation of approximately 500 and it produced by the John Bowlby Centre for its students, members and those who choose to subscribe or buy the book from Karnac books.
The reason I am contacting you is that in each issue as well as articles from within the field we have one or two poems and I would love to publish the poem that you read out in the programme. Unfortunately I do not have any budget for this as we are a not for profit organisation offering psychotherapy to survivors of all kinds of trauma and would appreciate it if you could give permission to publish this poem in an edition of the Journal coming out in 2013.
Best wishes,

Yvonne.

Theo enjoyed reading your book. I am interested in following your footsteps over the LLANGATTOCK bog if you can remember the route. Look forward to hearing from you.

Thank you for a wonderful show. I had to stop the car while I wept. I think it is fair to say you connected with a lot of new admirers today

Heard you this morning on radio four and have just bought your book. Your poem about losing a mate touched me deeply. I too have been to some very dark places and the loss of a mate is the darkest place you can go. I have never liked the term hero for those who are doing the job of protecting this nation as most of the serving soldiers never see combat, but those guys that have really lived in the mud and the blood and the bullets are the true heroes. Keep up the good work of bringing to this nation’s attention the real cost of armed conflict.

I listened to you on R4 this morning and found what you said very moving. It was brave of you to read out your poem. I think that you were pushed harder than you should’ve been to go through with that when you were obviously going to find it very difficult.

A great show but also very moving – particularly the poetry. Loved your quick wit and easy humour. I (a Civvie) worked with the UK military for over three decades, and have a mate (ex Army, N.I) who’s gone through an intensive course with the Combat Stress. This year he’s at the Cenotaph and says he’ll be saying goodbye to a few ghosts… I wish you and him all that you would yourselves.
PS A question… has anyone thought about taking the help that Combat Stress offers to UK service personnel to those of other nations – even those the UK has fought against. I’m thinking of those of Argentina. It could be a way of not only helping individuals over there and perhaps in the UK but (hopefully in the long run) change Argentine attitude to the UK. But perhaps this is just a pipedream, and anyway perhaps it is too soon for the powers that be – but almost too late for many Falklands vets on both sides.

Thank-you very much, Theo. As a Christian minister, I struggle each year to deal with Remembrance as it is officially presented and pushed, as well as an insistence on focussing on past conflicts, rather than those with current casualties, though ignoring the witness of, for instance, the WW1 poets. You speak with authority that none can impugn, when you said ‘there is no such thing as an unwounded soldier’. The questions I have for the congregation are: does the way we do Remembrance help with healing? Does it help with love of the enemy (i.e. appreciating them as a human being, as we also are) and with the long hard, complicated job of forgiveness?
I don’t know at this stage whether we would agree on how best to bring an end to warfare and the use of young men for foreign policy objectives. We don’t need to agree. But I do want to thank you for the work you have done.

I have just listened to you on radio 4 midweek programme. The poem you read out was very moving. I was interested in the fact that as a child you were seen as “unmanageable” when really you were a very bright “star child” my own son was labelled difficult he wasn’t one for being a clone sheep like .Diagnosed with all kinds of labels …has more letters after his name than most professors ….ADHD ASD etc he is 20yrs old now and a competing boxer at amateur level ……..when I hear a story like yours how just because you were very bright as a child you were sent off to be controlled …you probably learned more by listening to the man in Covent garden who told you stories of his travels than any teacher could teach! Thank you for all your dedication in the SAS and for sharing your stories…..anyone that gets killed in warfare is all our responsibilities not for you to take more than your share of hurt or guilt each person soldier or civilian is our brother and sister.

Hi Theo, just heard you on Midweek, Radio4. Really interesting life, I’m definitely going to check your book out. You mentioned Dan Dan the Tattoo Man, a character from your childhood. Wonder if it’s the same bloke that we used to talk to when we were kids. Used to knock about around Brixton and Camberwell, smothered in tatt’s, neck, face, scalp, he told us he had some association with the mafia in the states. Long time ago now, but think he had either an Irish or American accent. Wonder if we crossed paths back then?